Crazy and Immature…or Complex and Gifted?

Posted by | 11 comments

What is the norm, and what does it mean for us as gifted adults?

The norm is just that…the norm.   You know, normal.  It doesn’t take into account those who lie at the boundaries of life, who do things differently or think in a way that isn’t much like anyone else. The problem comes when those who are not part of the norm try to melt themselves into it.

Leslie Sword shares her perspective on some of the turmoil that gifted adults face during the discovery of who they really are and what they are all about:

“…gifted adults are rarely aware of their giftedness. Some misinterpret their complex and deep way of thinking as ‘craziness’.  Some mistake their emotional intensity for emotional immaturity or see it as a character flaw.  Because they have never been given information to explain what is “normal for gifted” they frequently experience frustration in the world, alienation, anger, self-blame and emptiness.

They feel the pain of being different and not feeling valued by others, or indeed by themselves.  Without an adequate explanation of their gifted difference, they develop a façade with which they cover their authentic gifted self; a face that they show to the world in order to fit in and so avoid disapproval or sanction.”

And that face behind which is so easy to hide brings with it feelings of being an impostor, a fraud, a deceiver in some way, adding another handful of negative emotions to the gifted adult’s pot.

What do we do?  How do we get around these feelings?

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What are your thoughts, and what have been your experiences on this?  Please share.

Join the forum discussion on this post

Related posts:

  1. The Living Matrix
  2. Surprised to be Gifted: The Inner World of Unrecognized Giftedness
  3. Living with Gifted Extremes
  4. Annemarie Roeper on the Emotional Needs of the Gifted
  5. Complex and Stuck – How to Let Go and Live

  • Jjljljdlld

    I’m offended by your blog. You are NOT gifted and your blog is not able the gifted adult. Disgusting for your to latch on to this very serious dilemma. Morally reprehensible.

    • http://giftedforlife.com giftedforlife

      Jjljljdlld, although I must disagree with your comment you are entitled to your opinion. To each his/her own.
      I hope you find your way.

      • John G.

        Worry not about the haters.  You’re doing some positive things, Sonia.  Continue with grace.

    • http://giftedforlife.com Sonia Dabboussi

      Jjljljdlld, although I must disagree with your comment, you are entitled to your opinion. To each his/her own. I hope you find your way.

  • Nicombatas

    Non-G doubt…. they don’t believe in truth and they can’t handle the truth…. because they discard them in contempt…..

    • http://giftedforlife.com giftedforlife

       Each person believes in the truth as he/she sees it.  What is truth to one can just as easily be untruth to another. 

  • cedar51

    I have spent a good deal of my life, trying to fit. I mostly do but when by mistake I think I’m able to speak out, I find that I have to shoot my thoughts right back into the façade of where I had hoped never to be…

    Recently, I have thought it is time to deal to certain things and have taken the step to move away from people/objects that cause much more grief than I would wish. 

    I am going to look around this site because it looks like it might be a helpful key 

    • http://giftedforlife.com giftedforlife

      What makes you “find that you have to shoot your thoughts back into the façade of where [you] had hoped never to be”?  I’m guessing it has to do with rejection by or lack of understanding from others.  Finding the balance between being able to say everything in your mind and saying what others will appreciate isn’t always easy.

      Have you met other gifted people to talk to?  This usually helps a lot since there are at least some people you can share your thoughts with without worrying so much about editing them.  You can try the forum here on the site at http://giftedforlife.com/forum or the Facebook group called “On the Edge: Gifted Adults Redefining Possible” at http://www.facebook.com/groups/intellectuallygifted.  Connecting with other gifted adults may be a step in the right direction as well.

      I hope you find what you’re looking for.

      • SA

        I am such a hermit I am not even on Facebook.

  • http://www.facebook.com/yonaro.wever Yonaro Wever

    Thanks you for this site. I recently found out that I’m gifted. I find myself  emotionally struggling alot lately. What cedar51 mentioned, about putting up a façade to fit, is starting to take a toll on me.  The articles I read on this made me understand more what it is and means to be gifted. It also made me see why I feel the way I do. I will keep visiting this site and forum.

    • http://giftedforlife.com giftedforlife

        Discovering your giftedness for the first time, especially as a adult when you can explore all of what that means, can truly be a liberating experience.  Many people find that so much of their lives make sense when they learn this.

      I’m glad you’ve found us here, and I hope that you’ll come back often.  There’s a Facebook group you can join as well if you’d like.  It’s at http://www.facebook.com/groups/intellectuallygifted.  It’s called On the Edge: Gifted Adults Redefining Possible. (I mentioned it in a reply here further down the page.)  There is some really great conversation going on there that you might enjoy as well.


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