Why Gifted Adults Fail, And What We Can Do About It

As gifted adults we have the capacity to do great things in the world.

We have the knowledge, skills and courage to go out on a limb and do things many other people won’t.  We have insights into solving problems that can bring outstanding change.

So then why aren’t we a whole lot more successful?

Because we talk ourselves out of our success, one word at a time.

Yep.  We do.

When we talk, or even think, about what we can do – projects we’d like to work on, places we’d like to visit, items we’d like to have, or things we’d like to become – we predetermine our successes in some way by the words we use.  And most of the time we aren’t even aware of them.

We need to listen for these words in our vocabulary because they’re the ones that subconsciously stop us and cause us to fail:

  • try, as in “I will try to pick up this huge rock.” (You just can’t picture yourself actually picking it up, can you?)
  • need, as in “I really need to finish this work before I go out tonight.” (Can you feel your slumped shoulders when you read this?)
  • should, as in “I should lose 20 pounds before the wedding.” (This one feels like you’ve already lost the battle, doesn’t it?)
  • I am (combined with a negative word or phrase), as in “I am so stupid.  Why didn’t I know that?” (This one just plain hurts.)
  • and the ever so dangerous but (or however, or unfortunately), as in “I’d like to get this done, but I’m just so tired right now.” (Can you hear how the ‘but’ negates the first half of the sentence and leaves you focusing on the second half?)

So what words can we use to get ourselves going in a positive direction?  These are the ones that direct us to success:

  • must, as in “I must keep going until I reach the end!”  (Can you feel the power in this one?)
  • will, as in “I will do only my very best.”  (You give yourself no choice except to be successful with this one, don’t you?)
  • I am (combined with a positive word or phrase), as in “I am so smart!  I figured that out in less than 30 seconds!”  (Can you feel your shoulders straighten up with this one?)
  • and SMART statements, as in “I know I’m qualified for and can get that job.”  (That sounds confident, doesn’t it?)

If our desires and goals constantly elude us, maybe we’re subconsciously pushing them away.

Listening to our words, and changing them as necessary, can turn our failures into successes much more easily than we may think.

Try it for yourself.

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