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Gifted, now what?


March 14, 2011



posts 10


Hello Everyone!

I have a friend who is just starting to accept that he is Gifted. I am now trying to get him to see that his numerous talents and abilities are positives/blessings and not “abnormal” or “weird”.  I see a pattern of  self criticism, negativity or disbelief about his talents and (I believe) even hurt from years of society’s misunderstanding, negative feedback and lack of recognition for achievements.

I’m not going to get him to this site yet, but he is starting to ask questions about Gifted. My dilemma is this:  where do I go from here? All of my research to date has been on Gifted characteristics and how to get my friend to admit his Giftedness. He’s starting to see himself as Gifted but now what? That’s not the same as true awareness or acceptance and he’s not ready to meet other Gifted.

I really need some guidance on how to proceed. He’s going to have questions and I won’t be prepared. He will need the right kind of support and as a Friend, I can’t let him down.

Thanks in advance!

March 20, 2011

Sonia Dabboussi



posts 394


One of the things that is absolutely most freeing in this situation is to be able to recognize that you aren't the only one going through it.  To find others who share your thoughts, feelings, fears and aspirations is like having a giant boulder removed from on your head.  Remember, as human beings we long for connection, at least in some way with a few people, and having someone that you can truly be yourself in front of is incredibly liberating.

Your friend has probably been looking for someone to gravitate towards for most of his life, and based upon what you've shared so far, that likely hasn't been an easy or productive journey for him.  Think of it this way:  imagine being dropped by helicopter into the middle of a mountaintop village in China, when you don't speak Chinese.  This is where you have to live.  This version of Chinese is so strange and complex that it takes years to learn to speak it and even longer to fully comprehend its intricacies.  Then imagine that your English-speaking friend finally comes for a visit.  You can speak in English, with someone who understands and who has shared your life experiences so you don't have to edit what you say or try to manipulate your ideas so that you can make yourself understood.  It is miraculously different, don't you think?

That's what being gifted can be like.  I can't see the future of course, but I'm guessing that your friend will definitely still remain friends with you even when he finds others who have been through what he has, but he'll likely be a stronger and more confident version of himself. And he'll appreciate you for being the one to help him find his way.

Join him here, or with other people you may have come across who are gifted, wherever they are.  Stand by him as he makes these connections because he'll probably be going through a lot in so many ways.  And if you have any specific questions, feel free to ask.  We'll do all we can.

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