The Gifted for Life forum was made by gifted adults for gifted adults. It's all about helping you become everything that you were destined to be.

You'll talk to and learn from others who totally understand where you're coming from (finally!). And step by step you may just find yourself transforming back into your true self and living your life the way you were starting to only dream was possible.  So what are you waiting for?  Come on in!

 
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Is this "normal"?

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April 14, 2011


Mary

Member

posts 3

1

Hello!  This is my first post on here, but I have been checking out this website for months.  I finally got up the nerve to write.  Actually, it's more that I got to the point where I have been probably about 1000 times before in my life and can't face yet another confusing moment alone.  I just needed to reach out to see if anyone, somewhere, anywhere has felt like I do … like I don't belong, that I just "don't fit", that I can never "get it together". 

You see, I need some advice to see if what I experience is "normal" as a gifted adult.  Let me briefly explain.  Whenever I set my mind on something, whether it be a new hobby, a new career path, an interest or even a new friend it's always fleeting.  I could wake up one day wanting to open up a restaurant, the next I am 100% certain that I want to go back to school to become a neuroscientist, the next I might want to learn how to horseback ride, go live alone in the woods as a hippie, be a gymnastics coach, perform in the theatre, learn ballet, be a graphic designer, open a gift shop, be married, not be married … you get the idea.  It's not like it's just a brief moment of boredom about something or someone or coming up against an obstacle that I'm afraid to confront, it's that I literally feel like a different person with a different personality complete with varying likes, dislikes, talents and ambitions.  At 45, I have been interested in working in more different careers than I can count ranging from a dog groomer to a nuclear physicist.  Oh lord, as I write this I think this must sound crazy.  I'm glad I don't have a picture of me on my avatar and no one knows who I am :-)  . 

I never seem to get very far in life because by the time I've started to work towards something, about half way through, my enthusiasm wanes and I've moved onto the "next thing".  Everyone in my life simply rolls their eyes at me and my next big project.  No one takes me seriously, but can I blame them? 

I honestly think being gifted is a curse, not a gift.  If it was a true gift I could use it to benefit the world, not run around like a chicken with it's head cut off :-) !!  I would LOVE to find something that I can truly focus on and give it my all without changing gears halfway through.  My passion seems to be to find my passion and I've even joked that maybe I'd make a good career counsellor seeing as I've been just about every profession known to man!

If anyone has any advice or can relate to what I've said at all I would so appreciate hearing from you.  I'm tired of feeling like a square peg in a round hole, but have also had to come to terms that that's just the way I was made even if it royally stinks.  Some (most) days I just wish I was "normal" with a daily routine, dog and white picket fence … and NOT this crazy mind of mine.

Thanks for reading …

Mary :-)

April 16, 2011


Sonia Dabboussi

Canada

Admin

posts 394

2

Mary, your thoughts and feelings are right on for so many gifted adults!  The experience of wanting to go from one thing to another is something I think just about all of us do.  We love learning and growing, and it's something we NEED to do.  From the outside it can look to everyone else like we can't complete a task, but for us we just have different reasons for doing them.

There's actually a post on the website that talks about exactly that.  It's called You Don't Have to Finish What You Start and it's right here: ** You don't have permission to see this link. **

And as for the square peg in the round hole, I've used exactly the same analogy before! 

You aren't crazy for sure.  As a gifted adult, you just look at and experience things in a different way than most other people, and sometimes that's a really great thing!

Thanks so much for sharing.  I'm glad you're reaching out now because it's the first step in becoming everything you were meant to be!

:)

 

Gifted for Life – Find the freedom, skill and motivation to live, love and lead with passion and make an evolutionary impact on the world!  giftedforlife.com

April 17, 2011


MomBodySoul

Member

posts 37

3

Hi Mary!

We sound a lot alike :) I was really frustrated with myself for liking and starting one million projects and never 'finishing' them, until I realized I was finishing them, but at a different stopping point than other people. I finished projects when I mastered it. I burst through the fun phase of learning and mastering it, adn now I coudl move on to the next thing.

I loved learning and I'll never stop, but what did make me want to stop was that others would see me as flaky, as never sticking to one thing.

I just finally found a way to do ALL the things I love and still leave room for more things to love and do in my life. I homeschool, and I'm a life coach, and an EFT practitioner, and I want to finish up my social work degree, and become an herbalist and they all work together! You just might need to find a common thread. For me it's helping people…In almost everything I do, I find that my passion is sustained by contributing to others.

 

And really? Sticking to one thing sounds like torture to me! I mean, really, look at yourself with the house and white picket fence, just sitting on the porch. Would you REALLY be happy doing that long term? I doubt it! You would still be looking for some way to stimulate your mind. 

Maybe that sounds wonderful right now because you need a break. Just because we love everything, doesn't mean we have to do that all the time.

And what you said about being a career counselor, is exactly what I was going to say. People like us are in the perfect position to be coaches and counselors because we are full of resources that others have no idea about!

For example, just a few days ago, I read an article about posttraumatic stress disorder in Japan, and I googled the name of one of the guys in the article and told him about a technique called EFT (emotional freedom technique) and how it's VERY helpful with PTSD, and he was very very grateful. That made my day that I coudl help in a small but simple way with just information even.

One thing I found helpful, was to write down a bunch of the things I wanted to be, when I was a kid. And in each one, I'd ask "WHY"…because I wanted to express myself, because I wanted to help people, because I wanted to be famous, etc…

It helped me to see that even though my interests were all over, there were only a few themes, and within those themes the possibilities are endless!

I Hope that helps!

Can't wait to hear back from you hun,

Take care,

Manal

 

 

April 19, 2011


Kristien Dirven

Member

posts 26

4

Hi Mary and Manal,

Can I join the club ;-) ?!

Reading both your posts is like reading what I could write about myself too!

The link Sonia posted has helped me a lot  to understand why it's normal (for us anyway, hihi) to finish projects at another stopping point (nicely put, Manal) then most people.
And indeed, projects plural. I'm also someone who is challenge-driven all the time, I can get my self interested in whatever comes up first and do it as passionately as someone who is truly passionate about it… untill suddenly it becomes completely boring (fueling the inner flame to motivate me for it is just impossible all of a sudden). And then I'm like "next!!" and be as passionate about the new thing as I was for the previous thing.

I was always kind of jealous of people who had a real passion for one particular thing, as I've never found my passion like that. Untill I figured out that that probably was my strenght at the same time : I can just choose almost whatever and get good at it… good enough to teach/help others how to do it (so I won't have to do it myself, as I know I will find it boring sooner or later).
That's why I indeed preferred teaching over my routine research job.
That's why I too have been thinking of becoming some kind of counselor or coach,  maybe combined with canine assisted therapy or therapies.

The latter because my dog helps me a lot with dealing with my chronic fatigue syndrome AND because knowing how a dog reacts often tells a lot about the handler and his or her state of mind. And I find that interaction quite interesting… at the moment ;-)
But nothing concrete yet, first getting my health back on track and in the meantime use the time I've got to become more me (don't know how else to describe it, but at the moment it feels like I really have to learn how to live as a gifted person).

 

Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're definitely not alone!!

:-)

Kristien.

 

 

April 21, 2011


Mary

Member

posts 3

5

Thank you all so very much for responding!  I can't tell you how amazing it feels to hear from others who understand! (and to know that I'm not "crazy" LOL).

Some of the things I currently have on my plate (and this could change tomorrow! LOL) is that I'm studying to be a life coach (but figure I need to get my life in some semblence of order before I can coach others to do the same), heading to floral design school for three weeks (my family doesn't even know yet! LOL), serving meals to the homeless once a month, studying metaphysics, spirituality and the Law of Attraction, taking in stray animals, and spending a lot of time daydreaming about all the other things I want to have and do in my life. 

I never thought of it as "finishing projects at another stopping point than most people".  How true!!  I guess I master and learn what I want/need to learn and am ready to move on! 

I know my common thread is connecting with others, whether it be the homeless people I serve, the customers I help with their flowers, the inner workings of others through spirituality, the stray animals I am drawn to etc.  I just love to connect with others deep in their soul and spirit, the place where I think a lot of "average" people don't even know exists (I hope that doesn't sound snobby!!! … just a fact).  I think that has more to do with the way we can feel more, understand more, connect more, see more deeply than most can. 

I HATE the day to day mundaneness of the world that a lot of people seem perfectly content with.  To me, it doesn't even make sense to be happy doing the same thing day after day after day!!  How boring is that??!!

Oh, and Kristien, for me learning how to live as a gifted person meant learning how to no longer listen to others who told me I was crazy, sensitive and weird!  Now when my kids call me weird I tell them "I like being weird … weird is good!" LOL

Great hearing from you all! 

Mary :-)

April 23, 2011


Kristien Dirven

Member

posts 26

6

Mary said:

I know my common thread is connecting with others, whether it be the homeless people I serve, the customers I help with their flowers, the inner workings of others through spirituality, the stray animals I am drawn to etc.  I just love to connect with others deep in their soul and spirit, the place where I think a lot of "average" people don't even know exists (I hope that doesn't sound snobby!!! … just a fact).  I think that has more to do with the way we can feel more, understand more, connect more, see more deeply than most can. 

I HATE the day to day mundaneness of the world that a lot of people seem perfectly content with.  To me, it doesn't even make sense to be happy doing the same thing day after day after day!!  How boring is that??!!

Oh, and Kristien, for me learning how to live as a gifted person meant learning how to no longer listen to others who told me I was crazy, sensitive and weird!  Now when my kids call me weird I tell them "I like being weird … weird is good!" LOL

Great hearing from you all! 

Mary :-)

Hahaha, first of all : you're totally right being "(gifted) weird / crazy" is indeed good (now that I'm coming to terms with it).
I'm even beginning to consider those things they say about me ("you're too this or too that") as a real nice compliment instead of a judgement.
Far better way of looking at it ;-) (and a new challenge to learn to see it that way – whohoooo, challengesssssssss ;-) )

 

Btw you don't sound snobby to me at all, although I know where you're coming from : being here with you all allows me to talk so freely too, but in the "outside world" ;-) I also tend to be very careful with what and how I say things.
I recently asked a rather close friend what she really thought of me, and she said I seemed rather arrogant (although she knew I wasn'tl). So I'm also "afraid" of how I'm perceived, as me too, I don't wan't to sound snobby or arrogant at all (I'm not better than the next person, just a bit different, that's all).

I hadn't considered my common thread yet, but of course you got me thinking now ;-)
I think mine is to use my "powers" at the right time for the right person(s). I've always had what -by lack of a better word- I called my "wounded bird project" : someone no one else (wanted to) notice(d) whom I befriended and took care of untill they got back on their on 2 feet, ready to move on by themselves. And please don't think about me as snobby either now, cuz I never did it for the credits (I never got any anyway). But it was always something I felt I had to do… and still do. Maybe I should indeed consider becoming a coach too ???

And uhhh being drawn to stray animals : for health reasons I stopped, but I was a "foster family" for stray dogs from Spain. And when walking my own dog I can't help but notice the animals around too. Hahaha, and when I'm really by myself I try to mimick the sound of the different birds I hear, hoping they react to my song ;-) And they sometimes do, making me as happy as a kid (or how I think a "regular" kid can be happy about something). Just ask my sister, hahaha, she'll confirm, she knows I do this (and pretends not to know me if I happen to do it in front of common friends LOL). Me weird ? Nahhhhhh :-)

;-)
K10

April 24, 2011


MomBodySoul

Member

posts 37

7

LOL You guys are going to laugh. I am a life coach / counselor too!

We're probably drawn to the job BECAUSE we have so many talents and interests are like an encyclopedia to others!

I find, too, that in the healing/spirituality/alternative health realm, that a lot of the people there are like us. It's their intuition and attention to fine detail that others don't notice, that make them drawn to the 'healing arts'. I really know that's why it's called 'art' because it's all about feeling and a lot of it is not concrete, but we know that it's still very real.

I know that when I started getting into efT and meridian psychotherapy, the people I've met are just so amazingly in tune with others and that's how they help them navigate their problems. (I'm one of them that's really good at picking up on people's "issues"!)

I'm very fortunate that the people around me haven't percieved me as being arrogant.  I just love to give, and maybe that's why? I don't know.

 

Just curious, are you both introverts, as well? (I'm an extrovert mostly, with introvert days here and there:)

and Mary, the 'connecting' thing is my common thread as well. When I'm disconnected from others, I feel disconnected with myself.

 

April 25, 2011


Kristien Dirven

Member

posts 26

8

I'm an introvert, although a lot of people perceive me as an extrovert.
Just cuz I can connect to people so easily (if I want to – just by listening to them) and I guess also because I smile and laugh a lot, that seems to draw people to me as well.

But I'm still a true introvert, cuz I almost never talk about myself let alone about what I feel (indeed ;-) you're priviliged ;-) LOL)

 

Mmmmm, so life coaching is definitely something for me to think about as a next carriere… why am I not surprised ;-)

 

Btw luckily I'm not often seen as arrogant. My friend who told me that, said it only happened in certain circumstances. Of course I wanted to now when ;-)
Apparently sometimes when she's spilling her guts about e.g. how she feels, I can become "detached" and don't seem to wanna listen any longer, although she knows I always listen. That was an aha-erlebnis for me : I indeed was not longer listening in a way, cuz I had already pinpointed her problem and was trying to be patient not to interrupt her and tell her how she could deal with her feelings. And sometimes I just can't wait for her to finish her story and blurt out what I think ;-) … and as I'm almost always on the money, she calls me arrogant for being such a know-it-all.

Is that something you sometimes experience as well ? When people take like forever to tell you something and you already know what they really wanna say after 1 minute? Most of the time I can be really patient and I just listen (and sometimes I'm not even dealing with something else in my mind at the same time), but sometimes… sometimes I'm "arrogant" ;-)

 

May 12, 2011


contemplatin4ever

New Member

posts 1

9

Hi.  I'm new here and am replying to the first post I've read, but also because I can relate very well to it.  My passion is learning – about whatever strikes my fancy at that moment.  Right now, I'm learning about being Gifted!  I love psychology, philosophy, neuroscience, the study of emotions, as well as many, many other things.  The world is an infinite resource of wonderful, interesting things. 

I'm a friendly introvert  :)    

Looking forward to learning more!   

May 13, 2011


Kristien Dirven

Member

posts 26

10

Hi "contemplating4ever" ;-)

Great to again meet someone who's on the journey of embracing her giftedness!
I hope it will give you that same "welcome home" feeling that it gave me!!
Even though I only recently found out (and accepted) that I was gifted , it has already opened my eyes to so many things.
Not only my past seems entirely right now (which it never did, with always being that odd one out), but also how I deal with things now… like a weight has been lifted, like all is finally alright, how great it can be to be different :-)

;-)
Kristien.

 

October 25, 2011


geonitacka

Southern USA

Member

posts 3

11

Yes!! All these replies show we're not all alone. 

I've always struggled in school and college with this. I excel at this, but this too, and this, and I really enjoy this, but i love this and AHHH!!!! 

It's hard to sit down and think about what -I- truly enjoy sometimes because of the endless possibilities for me. Though my parents aren't gifted, they are both counselors and if it wasn't for them I wouldn't have made choices period. I think knowing and allowing ourselves to make a choice and then CHANGE our mind, which IS perfectly normal, gives us all the breathing room we need. I know I felt so caught up in needing to make my life decisions NOW and thinking it was deadlock. Because of that I felt trapped when I didn't need to be. Everyone, gifted or not, changes their mind and that is OK. I think being gifted has made me question decisions "is that ok?" "is that normal?" "does everyone else do that" and I've caught myself thinking far too much about it. I know it's easy to say "hey don't worry about what others think" and MUCH harder to do, but it's still the truth. 

As for me, since my parents are counselors I felt inclined to become one myself, then now I've decided not to; that it's not for me. But hey maybe I'll change my mind again, and I feel comfortable and open enough to let that be an option. I think our minds limit us sometimes in thinking that we -have- to stick to this and only this. 

 

I don't know how many times I've changed my mind about what I want to study in school: Chem E, Linguistics, Music, Psychology, Sociology, Religion, History, Humanities, International Relations, everything except business hahaha! What I ended up doing is picking a major that allows me to go into other fields mixed with it(Linguistics). If you can't make up your mind, then don't. Doing a little of everything is fine too, that's why "jack of all trades" came about.

 

But yes, FINALLY, people who can relate to this "crazy" feeling =)

November 29, 2011


drmom

Member

posts 4

12

I relate to what everyone else here has written.  I've been made to feel very different and strange my whole life.  The only thing that helps is that my Dad is exactly like me in this respect.  We are the two weirdos in the family.  I drive my husband nuts with all my chatter about whatever my latest obsession is. 

I'm also very interested in the healing arts.  I have no formal training as of yet, but have learned so much on my own that I've been able to help my family and friends with many of their health problems and crisis.  I also homeschool my kids, which is great outlet for all my curiosity and my desire to make a difference. 

 

I've not been able to accomplish  all I would like to because I'm not well myself.  It seems like it's more common for the gifted to become ill because we react so much more intensely to stress.  I don't think this world was made for people like us, certainly not the part of it I come from anyway.  I would love to get better so I can take a course in nutritional therapy and maybe on on massage so that I can actually legally use what I have learned to benefit others. 

 

Oh, and I have been called an arrogant know-it-all too.  That's the furthest thing from my mind, but I guess that's how we can be percieved.

May 2, 2012


Will

Czech Republic

New Member

posts 2

13

Wow! This site is an amazing discovery for me! I really identify with each post so much that I finally feel like there are others like me, that I am not alone. This is really profoundly huge for me, and I cannot express this with words.

I go from one interest to another, gaining knowledge and skills learning something new and interesting. This is something I'm very passionate about. When I find something I'm interested in, I dive in head first.  I often get so deep and knowledgeable into that thing, that people consider me a trustworthy resource on the subject. I like to know more than most people about a little bit of everything.  I have somewhat esoteric skills and knowledge that I can call upon when needed. I like to solve problems, puzzles, find patterns, understand systems, know how things work.

I found this site from a web search which lead me to this page (** You don't have permission to see this link. **), I played the video and heard something that was both hard to hear and relieving at the same time: "we're never going to find it…that one big giant passion". I've been searching for the 'red pill'; my one true passion. It has been unrealistic, and frustrating for roughly 8 years! You can imagine how it would feel to be searching for something that doesn't exist. As soon as I got over that and accepted the truth that I would never be satisfied with only one thing to be passionate about, I felt immediate relief! I don't have to search anymore! All I need to do is do stuff I like. When I'm done with something, I can move on to something else I am interested in.

I'm working on the part where we need to identify what those things are that causes us to stop and move on to something else. I'm not sure, but right now I just feel like what is 'gone' for me when I lose interest, is the challenge, the interest/intrigue, the fun aspect. I'm not sure if there is more to it or not. I appreciate any insights from you. Similar to Kristien's post, I always want people to ask for my help for something very specific and specialized, that I happen to know and am very good at. Because then I will help them in exactly the way they needed wanted and for that moment my purpose was fulfilled. 

Now if I could only find a job that integrates my interests, and allows me to have flexibility to pursue other possible new interests instead of more of the same then I think I would be happy for the rest of my life.

 

May 2, 2012


Sonia Dabboussi

Canada

Admin

posts 394

14

Hi, Will! I'm so glad you've made it here. It really is amazing to discover that there are others like you in the world and that some of the things that the general population might find strange are actually normal in this crowd. :)

I think a lot of us have been searching for that ONE thing that is our life passion, our purpose. We've heard from many sources that that's what we should be looking for. But being gifted means that our skills and interests vary more than others sometimes and that it's very difficult for us to stay focused on only one thing when there are soooooo many things out there in the world to discover. :)

For me it would feel much like being in a cage if I had to do the same thing forever with no where to roam, or nothing else to learn about and explore. Maybe it's similar for you. I'm GLAD that I can have many passions because the world is a really exciting place that I'm not finished with yet. Wondering what's next and which adventures I can take keeps me on my toes, and I love that!

Gifted for Life – Find the freedom, skill and motivation to live, love and lead with passion and make an evolutionary impact on the world!  giftedforlife.com



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